Fire that killed 5 in Ferguson was murder-suicide

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    ST. LOUIS, Missouri (KMOV) — The St. Louis County Police Department said it is believed that a fire resulting in the death of a woman and her four young children was a murder-suicide.

Police identified the five people Wednesday as Bernadine Pruessner, 39; Ivy Pruessner, 9; Ellie Pruessner, 9; Jackson Spader, 6; and Millie Spader, 2. St. Louis County Police spokeswoman Tracy Panus said it is believed Bernadine Pruessner set a mattress on fire, which was the point of origin of the blaze inside a Ferguson home.

She left a note stating her intentions to take her life and her children’s lives, Panus said. The fire happened early Monday morning in the 500 block of Clay Avenue in Ferguson. Three dogs also died in the fire.

St. Louis Regional Bomb and Arson detectives and Crime Scene Unit detectives are assisting in the investigation of the fire.

Hours before the fatal fire, the mom of 4 posted a Facebook status that read, “Making today one of those live each day like it’s your last kind of days!”

A neighbor previously told First Alert 4 that he woke up at 4:30 a.m. and saw the glow of the flames through his window. The neighbor said he ran to the house and banged on the door to try to wake the family while his wife called 911.

Jared Spader, the father of Jackson and Millie, issued the following statement about the deadly fire:

“What I would want everyone to know about my two wonderful children is they are the greatest gift that a father could ever ask for. Jackson was the most incredible older brother, kind, intuitive and gentle. He loved his sisters, being outside, sports, art and he was always so in tune with the needs of others. Millie was a funny, charismatic, sweet, and kind little sister who brightened every moment of every day for all of us. They were the two most beautiful souls that a father could ask for, and they were a gift to our lives in every way. As dads right now, we have to focus on honoring the four beautiful lives and we plan to do that together. Our thanks go out to the community, people we know, and many we have never even met, who have shown us incredible amounts of support. We will continue to need it.”

The St. Louis Crisis Nursery is urging families to call their 24/7 emergency line if they are in need of a break from their children and other stressors. They are asked to call their emergency helpline at 314-768-3201.

“Parenting is so unbelievably hard. Parenting without a support system is even harder. Reaching out and asking for help is the biggest sign of being a good parent,” says Molly Brown, Chief Program Officer of the Crisis Nursery.

In 2023, the organization took care of 4,000 kids who were dropped off by their loved ones.

“So many families who are facing difficult situations feel alone and to know someone who cares, who will listen, who will not judge that is so important right now as we think about the mental health crisis in our community,” says Brown.

The crime of a parent killing their own children is known as filicide and there are about 500 cases a year in the U.S. Research has found that often in cases of mothers who kill their children and then commit suicide, there had been frequent depression and suicidal thoughts.

Nathan Cohen, an attorney for the Prusessner family, issued the following statement:

“Tragically, the life of a wonderful mother and a brilliant educator and her four beautiful children were lost this week. They want to share with you that their daughter was happy, enjoyed life, was a success in all of her endeavors including her career as a professor in Early Education. She excelled most in her compassion and care for her children. Birdie lived for her children and focused only on their happiness. Birdie got to an awful place, one that resulted in tragic consequences. The family wants you to know that she got to that darkness as a result of spurious litigation and unfounded allegations by her ex-husband and her former boyfriend. When Birdie requested to relocate closer to her ex-husband’s residence, as her younger children became school-age, her ex-husband filed a motion to prevent relocation. Her boyfriend who had not even established legal rights to the children, joined her former husband to prevent relocation. Along with those motions allegations and requests to change or diminish Birdie’s capacity as a woman and as a mother ensued. She saw her children being used by their fathers as foils and she viewed the process and system for resolution of those claims as cumbersome, tedious and never ending. Each day that Birdie would score a step forward, her ex-husband and or her former boyfriend would undertake an action to denigrate or undermine her role as a mother. Her ex-husband and former boyfriend were well funded by their incomes and assets and demonstrated a No Holds Barred when it came to attacking our daughter Birdie. Birdie’s spirit succumbed to the inexorably demeaning process. She saw her children slowly and steadily suffering. She viewed the children as being used by their fathers as as a means to hurt Birdie at their expense. Tragically, she made the wrong choice. Birdie was fiercely independent, rejecting our support and accepting only our love.

The family believes that Birdie would never have gotten to this place without the unending attacks on her by her ex-husband and her boyfriend. We wish that Birdie would have reached out and received help. We hope that Birdie’s untimely death can be a reminder that even the strongest of us can use help in moments of crisis. We hope that even those who think they have it handled understand that they are not immune from suffering and doubt. We are grateful for all the Outreach from this community, law enforcement and First Responders. We have been lifted by the messages of Birdie’s friends, her community and everyone who knew her. We are especially grateful for the GoFundMe account and all efforts to assist us in this tragic loss. We will never get our daughter back. We will never see our grandchildren again. But if this tragedy could direct people to seek help in times of anguish and crisis, then perhaps Birdie’s life and not her death will stand for something.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or suicidal ideation, you can call or text 988. The suicide and crisis lifeline is available 24/7 and offers free support.

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