Local woman makes dresses to battle depression. Now she’s invited to show her designs all across the world.
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ASHTON (eastidahonews.com) — Mandy Anderson says she’s the most “introverted introvert that ever introverted.”
Since the age of four, Mandy, who is originally from Ashton but now lives in Utah, has been battling passive and active suicidal ideation as part of her depression.
“My greatest wish in life is honestly to just disappear,” says Anderson. “Being seen is my greatest fear. Being in front of people has been one of my biggest things that I just avoid like the plague.”
In December 2023, Anderson says she was at one of her lowest and darkest points when she decided to end her life – but suddenly, she had an idea.
“The thought came to me because of what I was thinking and where I was planning to go that I needed to make wings. Not to wear, but just as a symbol, like my last symbolic act,” says Anderson. “I was going to make these big, beautiful wings and they were just like so clear in my mind what they would look like, and I couldn’t get it out of my head.”
Anderson says she rushed to Hobby Lobby and bought tulle, golden leaves, and wire to create beautiful, sparkly golden wings. Days later, after frantic sewing and designing, she says she felt inspired and needed to share this feeling with the world.
“I just felt this light and felt like, wow, I feel okay. Not healed, but I want to share this light that I feel with others,” says Anderson. “I’m a photographer and one of the ways I share light and try to bring joy to other people is through photography. So I photographed them on myself and I shared them, and I left them unfinished.”
From there, the Unfinished Wings Dress Project was born and evolved into Anderson creating beautiful dresses when she struggles with active suicidality. In an act of symbolism – the dresses are always left slightly unfinished.
“Every dress is unfinished just like my wings. They’re not perfect, I don’t start from a pattern or follow directions,” says Anderson. “It’s got kind of the message of the semi-colon that some people get tattooed on their wrists who’ve suffered with suicidality.”
Anderson says her dresses symbolize bringing attention to the ongoing struggle of mental health issues, and she hopes to remind others in similar situations that discussions about suicide should not be taboo.
“There’s power in sharing the struggle when you’re in it and not all the way through it yet because that’s when it’s going to be understood by other people who are going through it,” says Anderson. “Most of those people struggle with mental health in some way or another. And I feel like because they don’t talk about it openly as you would talk about having a broken leg or a cold, there’s perspectives that are missing. There’s pieces of the puzzle that aren’t there because there’s so many people who just never talk about it.”
Now, when Anderson feels that her mental health is becoming too much to bear – she turns to fabric and glitter.
“I’m artistic and it’s a way for me to like work through really difficult times. Sometimes I’ve painted, sometimes photography’s been a way that kind of lifts me out of those really dark times,” says Anderson. “It feels so personal and I’m creating a dress that is made for my body, that’s made for me to model and to show because it’s the light that I’m trying to find inside of myself and show outwardly to the world. And that’s the only way I know how to do it.”
The Unfinished Wings Dress Project has led Anderson to be invited to debut her designs in Geneva, Switzerland in March, and later this year in France and New York.
A mother to eight children, Anderson says the price to attend these events and present her project to the world is steep.
“As soon as they invited me, I was like, I’ll try to find the funds, but I’m a mother of eight and I’m not an actual designer,” says Anderson. “I don’t have a business and this is all just coming out of my family. So (they said) no worries, but we need to know.”
Anderson is hoping to raise enough to bring her project to life worldwide.
“I hope some people hear this story and have hope and feel light and, that they can also tell their story while they’re in it, not through it, and that they can find ways to push through the darkness to last one more minute, one more hour, one more day, until the light comes,” says Anderson.
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