Michelle Buteau regrets losing weight for her wedding and wants you to shut up about it now

(CNN) — Don’t look for Michelle Buteau to jump on the Ozempic craze.

The comedian and actress appeared on NPR’s “Wild Card with Rachel Martin,” where she made it clear that she doesn’t take kindly to people commenting on her body.

“Oh my god: lose weight. Shut up. People that tell you to lose weight are never a doctor,” Buteau said. “They never look happy. It doesn’t look like they enjoy good food and/or have sex, or had an orgasm without, like, a mirror.”

“Stop. Like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about?” she added. “Lose weight, people won’t like you, love you, or you can get a job? Shut up! Not only am I gonna keep my weight, I might gain some weight.”

Not surprising from the women who wrote the book, “Survival of the Thickest,” and stars in the comedy series based on it.

“The straw that broke the camel toe,” according to Buteau, was her 2010 wedding, when she said friends told her to diet and exercise: “That’s what you do.”

“And I was like, “Why?” And they’re like, “You just gotta do it.” And I did it and I lost a lot of weight and I was like, ‘This doesn’t feel good. And I miss turkey bacon,’” she said. “And my dress was too big and kept falling off of me during my father-daughter dance and all the dancing. And then I literally had, like, some tequila and a potato and blacked out for the rest of my wedding.”

“I’m like, “Why?” I already found a man that’s going to love me no matter what. What am I doing? And that’s when I was just like, ‘No, I’m not listening to you guys anymore.’”

She and her husband, Dutch photographer Gijs van der Most, are the parents to twins Hazel and Otis born in 2019.

Buteau’s new standup special is now streaming on Netflix.

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