Death with Dignity: Bend woman tells of painful decision

Recently, the story of a woman with Stage 4 brain cancer who moved from California to Oregon to utilize the Death with Dignity law has gone viral. The subject is not an easy one, but for one Central Oregon woman, it brings back a flood of personal memories.

Patty Rosen was the chief spokeswoman for the Death with Dignity Act ballot measure that Oregon voters approved in 1994.

The recent news out of Portland was a true testament to her hard work.

However, this day would not have been possible without her heartbreaking journey with her terminally ill daughter.

“This is Jody, six months before she died,” Patty said recently as she looked back at old photos of her daughter.

Her daughter was sick. In 1985, Jody started to experience severe back aches.

She had multiple doctors appointments and medical tests, but there was no clear diagnosis.

“They all tell me I have a daughter who is a drug addict and I’m a naive mother,” Patty said.

Patty knew this was not true, Jody was deteriorating quickly.

She rushed her to San Diego for more appointments and more tests.

The results were earth-shattering.

“The doctor called me back and he was crying. And he said, ‘She doesn’t have any bones left, she has no bones left.’ And I thought…” Patty said, before she broke down in tears.

Bone cancer, from her head to her toes. The 25-year-old would never leave her bed again.

“She was never going to go into a restaurant that she loved to do, she was not going to go to a movie, she was not going to make love again, her whole life was over,” Patty said.

Even at a young age, Jody’s strength shined through.

“She looked at me and said, ‘Well, you have to help me die,'” Patty said.

As a nurse, Patty was no stranger to suffering. But her battle to help the terminally ill had only just begun.

“I stood at her bedside that last day and she said, ‘Cross your heart and promise me you will work for the rights of the terminally ill, because no mother should have to do this.'” Patty recalled, along with her reply: Okay. Okay.”

After she helped Jody die, Patty entered a state of shock.

“Everyone knew I had a daughter die, but no one knew I had assisted her death,” Patty said.

She kept quiet about it for seven years. But then it was time to honor her promise to Jody.

“Always support Death with Dignity– I’ve seen too much suffering,” Patty said.

The Oregonian published her letter over two decades ago, highlighting the importance of Death with Dignity.

Not long after, she became the chief spokeswoman for the ballot measure.

To this day, she speaks about the importance of the law.

“That, to me, was love,” Patty said.

Talking about her daughter’s death was impossible, until recently.

“Your whole life goes away. Your life is never ever ever the same,” Patty said.

Due to her medical background, Patty had access to the drugs to help end her daughter’s suffering.

“And it was like I was out of body,” Patty said.

When Jody died on Oct. 30, 1986, Patty had committed a felony.

But because of her long silence and statute of limitations, she was free from criminal charges.

Even with the risk of spending her life in prison, she knew she had to free Jody from her personal prison.

“After I dosed her, so to speak, it took forever for her to stop breathing. And all that time I’m thinking, ‘Please don’t wake up, I could never do this again, please don’t wake up,'” Patty said.

Jody’s pain subsided with her last breath.

“I climbed in bed with her, and I took her in my arms, and I said, ‘We did it. We did it. You’re okay now!'” Patty said.

But her pain, a mother’s pain at losing her child, will never end.

“The hardest part was that I was so alone with this whole thing. The only person who totally got it was Jody, and she was already on her way somewhere else, without pain,” Patty said, before the emotions took over.

Patty also explained that, in her experience, the option of death with dignity enables the patient to relax and enjoy the rest of their life.

Often times, she said, patients still end up dying of natural causes.