Let’s Talk: Two suicide survivors tell their stories

In week 2 of our monthlong Let’s Talk suicide prevention campaign, we hear from two more suicide survivors. They are considered survivors because they lost a child to suicide. Both families are using their grief to fuel their message as a method of survival.

“(It was a) huge shock to our family — we had no idea,” Leanna Leyes, a suicide survivor, said, “It’s been 2 1/2 years, and it seems like yesterday .”

Suicide: A word so devastating, parents hope it never becomes reality.

“The stories are all different but all similar. That sounds weird, but many times people had no idea,” Leyes said.

Families from all over the world are connected by the same pain of suicide.

“The kind of love you have for a child doesn’t end just because their life ended,” Leyes said.

Leyes’ son, Zachary, was 17 years old when he killed himself at Bend High School.

“The story was very public, I knew immediately — that (there) was no use in hiding,” Leyes said.

Leyes remembers the wintry day very clearly.

“It had snowed. I don’t know if you remember that day, but it had snowed and snowed and snowed. The snow was beautiful. I just remember thinking that I wish Zak could have seen it,” Leyes said.

Leyes is now using her grief to pursue change. It’s a tactic called instrumental grieving.

“It felt like a survival thing to me, like something I had to do to be able to start to heal, and also feel like I was doing something positive,” Leyes said.

This form of grieving has helped Leyes become heavily involved in suicide prevention through counseling, speaking at events, and online groups. She said she does everything she can to help educate people about suicide.

“We need to let our kids know that it’s OK to say they are not OK,” Leyes said.

Another suicide survivor, Jason Winebarger, echoed that view.

“(We want) to normalize this in a way that it’s not so taboo to say the word ‘suicide,'” he said.

Windebarger and his wife, Kristi, lost their 12-year-old son Jacob to suicide in January.

“It hurts like it was just this morning ,” Kristi Winebarger said.

“To be quite honest, I didn’t realize that 12-year-old kids thought about suicide,” Jason said.

Another family left shaken after an unexpected turn.

“The kid that comes home from school and is grinning from ear to ear and giggling and laughing and joking around with you, can still have dark thoughts. I didn’t know that,” Kristi said.

Through their pain and their loss, they refuse to stay silent. These two local families have now made it their mission to start the conversation.

“What we’ve been through, to prevent anyone else from having to go through that. You don’t want to be a member of this club,” Jason said.

Both families say counseling was absolutely vital after their losses. They both took part in bereavement by suicide groups as well.

You can find resources available to you in Central Oregon by visiting www.ktvz.com/LetsTalk.