Thousands sign petition for an empty seat at graduation for student who died by suicide

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    FENTON, Missouri (KMOV) — Anna Zamenski and Julia McCarthy met in kindergarten and grew up as best friends. This year, the girls would have graduated high school together, but Julia died by suicide just before their sophomore year.

“After Julia died, her parents said their biggest fear was that people would forget that Julia existed and I said, ‘as long as Anna and I are living, that’s not going to happen,'” Anna’s mother Maureen said.

So for graduation, Anna requested that a chair remain empty to honor Julia. “She didn’t ask for a speech or anything, it was just more of a symbolic thing,” Maureen said, explaining that Julia wasn’t much for a big show.

With permission and excitement from Julia’s mother, they requested the empty chair. “She received a call on Wednesday that said, ‘no, it couldn’t happen because it would be too upsetting and trigger other people,'” Maureen said.

In an email to concerned parents, the principal said in part:

“Our decision comes from discussions with our counseling staff as well as local experts from West County Psychological Associates, whose training sessions we have attended. The advisement of experts is for schools to not create physical memorials for students who have passed. We certainly understand that for some these may be viewed as memorials to celebrate but for others, it can be a trigger for their mental health.”

That response wasn’t good enough for Anna. So, she started a petition. “Well, I made like a paper petition that I wanted everyone at school to sign, but then another friend of Julia made an online petition,” Anna said.

The online petition now has nearly 4,000 signatures and hundreds of comments. Some of the comments come from students admitting that they also tried to commit suicide. Anna said reading the comments makes her cry.

One comment said in part: “The system failed Julia and so many others by letting them slip through the cracks.”

“When I made the petition, half the kids didn’t even know she had passed,” Anna said. She added that the school never made an announcement or offered her help. “When I went to my counselor, I was basically told to get over it,” Anna said.

Maureen said she has spent the last two years getting her daughter through this tragedy. She said she’s also spoken to therapists who think the empty chair would be healing for the students.

“If someone is actually contemplating suicide, this could show them that they do care and they leave behind the ones that still hurt, and it causes a bunch of pain and that people don’t forget it and that obviously two years later, they are still loved and people are going to fight for them even if they are not here,” Maureen said.

The Rockwood School District tells News 4 they will do a moment of silence for those no longer with us, but the empty chair is against protocol.

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