Why friends are saying ‘I do’ without the romance

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    October 18, 2024 (LAPost.com) — As traditional romantic relationships evolve, there is a new and unconventional trend reshaping the landscape of marriage: platonic marriages. This involves your best friend becoming your life partner, minus the romance. Far from a passing trend, this is part of a bigger shift in the way relationships are formed and what it means to be life partners.

According to the New York Times, these marriages don’t include romance or sex. Instead, they involve two people, usually great friends, who decide to get married for practical and legal reasons. This trend is particularly notable among women, who are increasingly evaluating the role and importance of men in their lives. Forbes says this trend connects to movements like the 4B movement in South Korea, where some women are rejecting heterosexual marriage, childbirth, dating, and sexual relationships altogether.

Forbes elaborates on the 4B movement, explaining that it stands for “bihon” (no marriage), “bichulsan” (no childbirth), “biyeonae” (no dating), and “bisex” (no sexual relationships). According to the article, this movement has gained traction among young, particularly South Korean women who feel burdened by societal pressures and gender inequalities. The 4B movement opens an alternative path for those seeking to redefine traditional relationship norms. By rejecting conventional roles, the 4B movement takes a strong stand against old-fashioned expectations. This stance gives women the freedom to focus on their own goals and careers without feeling held back by traditional relationship roles.

While the 4B movement represents one extreme, other women are finding different ways to redefine relationships and prioritize their personal needs.

This shift in relationship dynamics is increasingly visible, even in popular culture, with celebrities openly embracing the importance of platonic relationships. A prime example, as reported by Claudia Poposki in a news.com.au article is actress Michelle Williams, who has publicly stated that her best friend, Busy Phillips, is the love of her life.

Jacqui Manning, the resident psychologist at Connected Women, explains in the same article, “Many women are choosing not to partner romantically as they are not dependent on that being a factor in their lives, as opposed to past generations, so these friendships become like family.” This trend highlights how women are redefining what constitutes a significant relationship in their lives, placing increased importance on platonic bonds.

News.com.au also reports that 81 percent of women over 18 consider friendships as important as romantic relationships. Manning notes, “As we age, our values, priorities, and the things we need from those relationships start to change.”

So what’s behind the trend, and why marry a best friend? For some, it’s a practical fix to modern-day problems. For others, it’s a savvy financial move. In an age of inflation and uncertain job markets, more people are opting to pool resources with a trusted friend, leading to significant savings on living expenses and better financial stability.

The financial benefits of these arrangements can be substantial. As Forbes points out, shared living expenses can dramatically reduce the cost of living for both parties. Splitting rent or mortgage payments, utilities, and other household expenses can potentially cut these costs in half. This financial breathing room can allow for greater savings and investment in personal or professional growth.

These marriages can also open up opportunities for combined investments. Friends can pool their resources to invest in property, start businesses, or save for retirement, creating a stronger financial foundation for both individuals. This collaborative approach to finances can provide a safety net and increase opportunities for wealth building that might be out of reach for single individuals.

Despite the norms or challenges, the rise of platonic marriages represents an innovative approach to partnerships in today’s modern world. As more people seek alternatives to traditional romantic partnerships, platonic marriages may offer a compelling option for those looking to build a life with a trusted friend while enjoying the legal and financial benefits of marriage.

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Nahal Garakani
nahal@lapost.com
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