Cost of gunfire: Nonprofit gives long-term support for families of homicide victims
John and Sandy Harrigan's son Tom was off-duty when he was shot and killed inside his east St. Paul home in September of 2019. "My world ended. I temporarily lost my faith in God. So I spent months trying to understand but what did I do wrong
By JENNIFER MAYERLE
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ST. PAUL, Minnesota (WCCO) — We know the cost of gunfire is having a real impact on people across Minnesota.
Most homicides in the state are by gunfire. Losing someone you love in that way leaves a pain that can be hard to process.
That’s where groups like Survivor Resources come in. The nonprofit was formed to support families like the Harrigans, whose son was shot and killed in 2019. For the first time, they share their journey through the grief and the support they found to help heal
They reflect on moments with their son that still bring them joy.
“He finally got a job as a paramedic with the St. Paul Fire Department, and he was so proud of that,” John Harrigan said.
John and Sandy Harrigan’s son Tom was off-duty when he was shot and killed inside his east St. Paul home in September of 2019.
“My world ended. I temporarily lost my faith in God. So I spent months trying to understand but what did I do wrong,” Sandy said.
The firefighter and decorated veteran who served in Iraq and Afghanistan as a combat medic was 36 years old.
“At this moment, emotionally, you’ve been run over by a bus and everything in your life is out of kilter. Your ability to function is falling apart,” John said.
And yet, they say while people mean well, those around them couldn’t understand their pain.
“Very sadly, most people want to jump us through. You got two weeks to grieve,” Sandy said.
So, they leaned on each other, and soon found a place where people truly understood how they were feeling.
Survivor Resources is a nonprofit dedicated to helping people process their grief together. Everyone in their weekly support group had lost someone they love to homicide.
“I don’t know how I would have survived without Survivor Resources because I’m telling the honest-to-God’s truth, I felt abandoned, and the people in the group, I’m not alone,” Sandy said.
“Just being able to go there every night and talk to people who’ve been through the same thing is a blessing,” John said.
The nonprofit started nearly 30 years ago at the request of the former head of homicide for the St. Paul Police Department. He saw the despair from families of homicide victims and the need for resources. It’s now grown to help others, too.
“We provide resources for people who have lost loved ones to homicide as well as a couple other things, suicide, accidental death and overdose,” Toni Plante said.
Plante is one of three staff members. She sets up the rooms where support groups meet and facilitates meetings.
“The facilitator is there to kind of keep people moving, so we want to give everybody a chance to talk at least to some extent,” Plante said.
It’s a space for people to say whatever they’re feeling without the worry of being judged.
“A lot of crying usually, generally speaking. We have people that have lost people 10 years ago that still come back because they’re looking for closure, and then we have people that have lost somebody last week,” Plante said.
The need for this kind of group became even more apparent during the pandemic. As they went virtual, they started getting calls from across the country.
“People will call in from other states and say, ‘I can’t find anything. I can’t even find a group, not to mention one that’s free,'” she said.
Now back in person, they still make room for people to Zoom in, knowing grieving happens in its own way, on its own time.
“It becomes a part of you. But learning to live with that is the part that we try to add to the equation,” Plante said.
After three years of going to weekly meetings, the Harrigans know their grief has changed.
“It’s not the same. You’re not anguishing it over 24 hours a day every day, but it’s there in the back of your mind, and there are certain triggers. I want to scream or I want to weep or both, and then it passes,” John said.
But it will always live inside them.
“The hardest part now is I very much want to go on with my life, but I don’t want to leave my son behind,” Sandy said.
The groups meet once a week in St. Louis Park, St. Paul, Apple Valley and Forest Lake. They offer other kinds of support, like with logistics after a person has died, help navigating the courts, and resources for cleaning.
Click here to learn more information about Survivor Resources: survivorresources.org
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