Tennessee assistant principal pens pun-filled letter to Taylor Swift

By Daniel Smithson

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    HENDERSONVILLE, Tennessee (WSMV) — As the Taylor Swift pandemonium fizzles out in Nashville after the pop-star’s last Eras Tour concert at Nissan Stadium Sunday night, an assistant principal at Swift’s alma mater is still feeling the excitement All Too Well.

Mary Beth Allen, assistant principal at Hendersonville High School where Swift walked the halls after moving to Tennessee, penned the letter full of song-related puns fit for Swifties. Allen concedes she bought tickets to one of Swift’s sold-out concerts at Nissan Stadium, but she sold them.

“Hey Taylor, Admittedly, missing your Nashville shows felt like Death By A Thousand Cuts. I Did Something Bad by selling my tickets, which makes me the Anti-Hero in this situation,” the letter reads. “I know this All Too Well now. I promise there’s no Bad Blood; I was just trying to pay down some student loan! I’ve learned from my mistakes. I should Never Grow Up, and I Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve held onto them. I’m seeing Red, and My Tears Ricochet at the thought of my terrible decision. Most will tell me, ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ but I know I’m not Out of the Woods yet. I will be forever Haunted by this choice.”

To redeem her unfortunate mistake, Allen coyly asks Swift in the letter if she can attend the school’s final pep rally.

“Call It What You Want, but I feel if I don’t Speak Now, I may lose the chance. Please Don’t Blame Me for trying. Can I ask you a Question? Long Story Short, we’ve got our last HHS pep rally tomorrow morning, and I Wish You Would stop by,” the letter reads. “I know the situation is Delicate, and it probably won’t happen even in my Wildest Dreams, but we would be Enchanted to meet you. Trust me, you’re the 1 we want to see! This Is Me Trying. It’s been a while since you walked these halls at Fifteen, but we’d love for you to Come Back, Be Here, and Stay Stay Stay with us to see how Everything Has Changed. We ‘polish up real nice’ at HHS. No one here Forgot That You Existed; your big reputation is Long Live(d). This Love runs deep! We know you’re a Superstar now, and there are probably Treacherous concerns. Don’t worry. I Know Places we can hide you to keep the crowds away.”

Allen signed the letter as “the crazy (Hendersonville High School) assistant principal who flew to Vegas on March 24th” to see Swift for her birthday.

“We can make a Blank Space on the pep rally agenda and write your name!” the letter says. “You have an invitation to HHS, Forever and Always.”

The school’s pep rally was underway Monday morning. The school reports Swift has not yet shown up.

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