‘That’s our job’: C. Oregonian reflects on leading 9/11 incident response team at Ground Zero

(Update: Adding video, comments from incident management team commander Joe Stutler)

'I don't think I could go back again. It's too much, even today'

BEND, Ore. (KTVZ) -- Almost 20 years to the day after the 9/11 terror attacks, Central Oregonian Joe Stutler reflected on his time with a response team at Ground Zero. 

"The events had happened. There wasn't anything we could do to change history, we just had to make lemonade out of lemons. That's our job,” Stutler said. 

When the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were struck that fateful, blue-sky day, many were checking in on loved ones and trying to process what happened.

But Stutler was driving 14 hours from Elk Camp, Colorado back home to Bend. 

He then took off from the Redmond Airport to meet his crew in Montana, receiving a fighter jet escort on the final leg of his journey to New York, and Ground Zero.

"It was likely not something anybody else had seen, either, so we were going to figure it out as we went along,” Stutler said.

Stutler, an incident commander for a federal response team, was used to helping in crisis situations.

"These teams are like family, and that particular assignment, that was our 17th assignment in three years,” Stutler said. 

Stutler's 67-member crew arrived in New York two days after the attacks, without a full idea yet what help was needed.

"It was very broad, it said 'provide logistical support,'” Stutler said. "I was a Forest Service employee at the time, and my direction was to get there and make something happen."

Once on the ground, the crew did just about everything - it re-established radio communication, distributed resources and provided grief counseling.

"Shower, caters, food, supplies, you name it. Our job was to get it there,” Stutler said. 

His crew even helped transport some of the debris across the Hudson River.

"The debris, crime scene, and obviously human remains,” Stutler said, referring to the objects he helped transport. 

Stutler said it was the first time the New York Fire Department ever asked for help, and he knew if they couldn't provide it, no one else would.

"The reality is, the IMTs (incident management teams) can't call 9-1-1. We are 9-1-1,” Stutler said. 

He said in the moment, there was no time to think about his own emotions, only focus on the task at hand. 

However, he said he’s had the last 20 years to process.

"If you think about that and you don't have some emotions, you're not human. That's all there is to it,” Stutler said. “And I've only been back twice, and I don't think I could go back again. It's too much, even today."

He said his visit to the Freedom Tower and the 9/11 Memorial didn't last more than a half an hour.

"Went back to the hotel and tried to get some sleep, and had flashbacks, and had thoughts of airplanes flying into buildings and couldn't do it,” Stutler said. “But it's okay, I know that."

Still, he said if another terrorist attack or large emergency were to happen in New York, or any part of the country, he wouldn’t hesitate to respond, because it’s “what we do.” 

He said the country's emergency preparedness has improved drastically since 9/11, but is always worried about the next one.

“If you have the opportunity to prevent something, we ought to be doing that, vs. having to reflect on the history later,” Stutler said.